I'll never be a famous blogger. In order to build a successful blog, I'd need to post every day, and that's something I'll never do. (And even then I'd need to contend with my lack of actual writing talent!) You see, the original purpose of this blog is to be my mental clearing house. A place for me to scrape the metaphorical turd off the bottom of my shoe (hence the name of my blog) and keep walking. For me, hitting "Publish post" is like flushing the toilet.
This is the reason I haven't been posting more in this series about Calvinism. As I made my way through the remainder of Roger Olson's book, Against Calvinism , there were less and less aspects of it I wanted to write about... As he took the five points of TULIP and discussed each one in depth, I found very little that compelled me to write. I found it difficult to even make my way through the remainder of the book. The reason is very simple: I was sold.
Although I'll certainly give Horton's For Calvinism it's fair shot, I'll be honest and admit that the topic is off my radar. My family has started going to an Arminian church, (independent, but historically Wesleyan) and I'm relatively at peace with this issue that has bothered me for a long time.
As I think through this whole issue, one thing has become clear: I've always been an Arminian. My Reformed upbringing is not without affect: I can fall in line when needed, supplying the typical Calvinist answers to the common questions when the situation arises. But deep down, the God I've always believed in is a God who has limited his own sovereignty to allow me the genuine choice between right and wrong, to believe in Him or not.
Before anyone calls me a historical revisionist, take a look at four of my posts from 2008. In my response to an essay by atheist Richard Carrier titled Why I am Not a Christian, I give my rebuttals to each of his arguments. Without exception, the God I defend is the God revealed by Arminian theology. Take a look at my own words from four years ago:
God took the ultimate risk: He gave us free will, and in doing so, took the risk that we would reject Him; that our choice would result in eternal separation from Him.
From my response to "God is Inert":
Part of loving God is obeying Him. A lot of the evil in the world arises from human beings exercising their free will, disobeying God. Creatures that are free to love must be free to choose.
And in my response to "Christianity Predicts a Different Universe" I adopt Kenneth Miller's words as my own:
God's love and gift of freedom are genuine - so genuine that they include the power to choose evil and, if we wish, to freely send ourselves to Hell. -Kenneth Miller, in Finding Darwin's God [pp. 285-291]
I really struggled with those posts; Trying to clearly communicate why, even in the face of massive doubts, I believe that the Christian God is real. Looking back has helped me see one reason why I've felt so out of place in my Calvinistic Baptist church: For me, the god of Calvinism is indefensible, and I simply do not believe he exists. I believe in a God who offers a choice between good and evil. And I've believed in him all along.